All the things I should've said
by RogueWarrior869
Summary: For the nospeakingrule community at LiveJournal. While his friends and boyfriend are away for Summer, Deidara gets hit with an eighteen wheeler and has to deal with the aftermath two months later. Established SasoDei. Drama/Humor/Romance. Modern Day AU.
1. The Accident

Document Opened: 08/07/2009, 05:40pm.

Authors Note:  
This is for the nospeakingrule community over at LiveJournal.

Claim: Akasuna Sasori x Deidara.  
Theme/Prompt:No.7. Realize.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Masashi Kisitmoto does.:3.

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_He was walking down the sidewalk, lost in thought. His friends had gone to different places for the Summer and even though he could have gone with a couple of them, he refrained. Even though that was two weeks ago, he was wondering if that was a good idea._

_'Still red, un.' He thought bored after casting a glance up at the crosswalk sign. The blond missed them. The Akatsuki. Especially Sasori. Then again that was to be expected since they had gotten together three weeks before they left for the Summer._

_Another quick glance upward showed the light flashing green so without another look. Unfortunately he should have looked as the light flashed back red and his only warning of the oncoming danger was the blaring of the eighteen wheelers horn._

_The last thing he remembered after that was his eyes widening in surprise as the giant truck collided with him._

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Two Months Later.

His visible blue eye slowly and blearily opened. Almost immediately he could tell he was in an unfamiliar enviorment. A white ceiling was what greeted him.

"Thank goodness you're finally awake!" The unknown female voice caught his attention and he looked to his left to see an older woman in scrubs. "Hold on while I get the Doctor." She said and was out of there before he had time to comprehend what had just happened.  
The most his confused mind could decipher was that she was a Nurse.

He blinked realizing that a Nurse meant this was a Hospital....'_What am I doing..._' He cut his own thought short as the memory of what happened made itself present. The blond was quick to put a hand on his head due to a small headache following the memory.

Not a moment later a man came in somewhat abruptly, half startling him. "Mr. Katsuiwa, it's good to see that you are awake." He took a good look at the man. He was about six feet tall, brown, square rimmed glasses were on his face as he look over his clipboard and aside the light green scrub pants, normal white coat and short, neatly trimmed blue-black hair, there wasn't much else too him.

"This might be difficult but I need you to try and speak." He approached the confused teen, the boy was so young. One of the things he hated about his job, he could save some people but not everyone got off completely lucky.

Deidara tried to speak but no words came. He tried repeatedly a few more times but nothing. Not even a rasp or a squeak. His wide blue eye was met by the concerned face of the Doctors.  
His heart was racing and he wanted to scream what was wrong with him? Why didn't his voice work? His mind started running around with all kinds of questions and it only made his headache worsen.

"I see." The Doctor spoke quietly, seemingly to himself while marking something on his clipboard. After a brief moment that felt like an eternity the man looked at him.  
"I understand you want to know what has happened." His answer was a fast paced nod and the confusion showing in that deep blue eye.

"When that truck hit you, most of the damage was around your chest and some of your voicebox was damaged. We do not know yet if it is permanent or not. But save for couple of minor things, you are healing nicely from the coma." The further look of confusion he received told him that the nurse, , had not informed him about this.

"For the past two months you have been in a coma. Today is August sixteenth. I'm sorry, the nurse was supposed to inform you of this before coming to get me." He moved closer to the bed and set the clipboard down on the empty table. "I need to check your vital signs and after that a nurse will be in...." He couldn't help but to just nod while tuning the Doctor out, he had heard enough.

He was numb save for that headache. '_Can this get any worse, un?_' He thought while letting the Doctor check his blood pressure.

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A few days later after being prescribed some eyedrops, since he had to wear an eyepatch over his left eye until it healed, which he was told wouldn't take but a month, and some pain killers, he was discharged and was free to go bck to his apartment.

Which he wasted no time in doing since it would be easier for him to think there than in some Hospital room. He was never fond of those places and this only added to it.

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A little over an hour later he was back in his place, which had became a little dusty over no one living there for two months.

He had a lot to do and think over. Learn sign, possibly transfer schools, that alone made him think of the others again and he wondered if they would care about what happened. Especially Sasori, would he even want someone who couldn't talk to him, debate art, the list went on in his mind and he almost didn't notice the red flashing on the answering machine.

Pausing, he pushed the play button since he had three new messages on the slightly dusty machine.

_Message one: "Hey, it's f*cking me. The weather over here turned so me and Mister 'I'm a good boy' and 'I show no emotion' are returning a little sooner than expected. By Jashin I want to kill him! He's been driving me crazy!" _there was a pause before it continued. _"Even Itachi found a way to keep away from him! Anyway, see ya in about...."_ The machine beeped cutting off the message since it had gone on for too long.

He blinked remembering, Hidan's family had some kind of ties with the Uchiha's and they had go on their vacation together.

_Message two: Hi, Sempai! It's Tobi! Tobi's been a good boy as usual but for some reason, Hidan is mad at Tobi. Anyway, Tobi got you a souvenier but it's a secret until we arrive. See you soon!" _The message ended after that however it gave no idea _when_ they were arriving.

_Message Three: _A knock on his door interrupted his thoughts and figuring he could hear it again shortly, he went to go see who was at the door.

Before he could take three steps the person knocked a littler harsher and he was about to say something until he was oh so nicely reminded that he couldn't speak. That made him frown and shake his head for a moment before he opened the door.

His visible blue eye widened in surprise at who was standing there. And for a brief moment in time, he wished he had not opened the door. Standing there with his arms crossed impatiently was Akasuna Sasori.

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Authors Note:  
This would have gotten done soon had Yahoo Answers not been taking up my time as well as working on other stuff in between.

I already have the whole story mapped out so hopefully it won't take _forever _to update and complete.:3.

Finished: 08/11/2009, 06:11am.


	2. Surprise Visitor

Document Opened: 08/11/2009, 09:56pm.

Authors Note:  
Error correction . The the theme in chapter 1 is "Realization" not "Realize".  
I'll be editing the first chapter for some mistakes that I found later.:3.

Thanks for the reviews, they are always appreciated.*^_^*.

Table 2a: Emotions.  
Theme/Prompt: No.10. Flustered.

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Surprised, he only stepped aside so Sasori could come in. He wasn't expecting him back until the last week of the month. '_Why now, un_?' He thought while Sasori stepped in and gave him an odd look before speaking.

"Where in the hell have you been? We've been trying to find you for the past three days." He crossed his arms waiting for an answer. He had been worried but wasn't about to admit it.

The only thing Deidara could think of was to put his right hand on his throat and shake his head. This only made Sasori raise an eyebrow at him. "Do you have laryngitis or something?"  
However the look the younger blond had made him think otherwise.

"Can you just tell me what's going on?" The red head started to get a bad feeling when Deidara just shook his head again.

He did not need nor want this right now, he hadn't even been home ten minutes before Sasori arrived. His mind was a mess of thoughts and he had not had time to really _deal_ with anything yet.

He repeated the gesture with his hand still against his throat, hoping that Sasori would understand.

Sasori took a moment to see through exactly _what _Deidara was doing. The uneasy feeling he got increased before he answered. "You can't talk right now, can you?"

Deidara then just held up a pointer finger to let Sasori know he needed a minute. Getting an idea he went toward his kitchen to get a pencil and his notepad from a drawer since obviously his boyfriend failed at charades.

Sasori just watched wondering what was going on. Whatever it was, he knew it wasn't good.

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He pulled out the notepad and pencil. His visible blue eye rested on the blank yellow paper, having a difficult time to even begin writing the words. '_But, Sasori needs to know, un..._'

Pencil ready to write he swallowed and began writing...._There was an accident._  
As he continued the more he got angry, mainly at himself.

He should have been more careful, he should have looked, he should have been able to get out of the way instead of freezing for those few seconds. His hand stopped writing mid word as he paused to look over what he had already written.

'_It's not fair, un._' He thought with a half frown. His feelings began mixing and now he wasn't sure _who _or _what_ to be angry at. He hadn't been this confused since he realized he had a crush on Sasori. Speaking of which, he forced himself to finish the letter.

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He watched Deidara go into the kitchen and seemed to be writing something, something that was obviously troubling him. More than he originally thought by the look on his face.

His patience was on varying levels right now, he had noticed that it was a little dusty around the place. But he waited. He _hated _it but he did.

A couple of minutes went by that seemed like an eternity but soon enough he saw Dedara head back towards him with a saddened expression and piece of paper.

The blond silently handed him to paper and left to go sit down on the couch that was just in the living-room to his left. His own Earthen eyes widened in a mix of surprise of understanding as he read.  
_  
There was an accident two months and three days ago. June 16th.  
It was a car accident. I only woke up three days ago and sustained the most  
damage around my upper body._

_My voice box was damaged and they don't know if it's permanent or not.  
I just got here not long before you arrived._

_I understand if you or the others don't want to see me anymore._

It ended there and Sasori felt some tug at his heart since he had no idea and remembered a little bit about what the blond had told him regarding his past. When his parents were alive they hated him just because of his extra mouths and the fact he was bringing the family name down just because of something he couldn't control._  
_  
And now he probably had some remnants of those feelings of being a freak or an outcast ready to re-surface just because of something else that wasn't his fault. Especially if he thought everyone would just suddenly leave him because of it.

The puppeteer had to take a moment to even consider his life without him around. Before he was something of a recluse and only really went to the fights they got into and School, only because he had to.

The rest of the time he was dedicated to making his art. His beloved puppets and trying out all kinds of new designs and using various types of wood for each one. But then, things changed after he met the blond. Little by little and without him truly noticing it until one day they had been arguing and walking at the same time and wound up in the park.

That afternoon had been an eye opener for him and now he couldn't see himself without the other male around. That in mind, he knew what he had to do.

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Authors Note:  
There was originally going to be another scene here, fluffy-ness but it looked good ending there and I'll be starting chapter 3 later today and I'll include a flashback to the missing fluffy scene.

Any concrit is naturally appreciated.:3.  
Finished: 08/14/2009, 06:33am.


	3. I tried to explain

Document Opened: 08/15/2009, 01:26am.

Authors Note:  
Already chapter three.:3.

By the way, the humor kicks in chapters four and five.  
Theme/Prompt: No.9. Depressed.

Three days had gone by and it would be only another hour or so before Pein and Konan returned to meet them from the Airport. Sasori had decided to tell the others since technically Deidara _couldn't_. The younger male was still adjusting to his new problem.

How well, he wasn't sure. '_He seemed alright the other day though._' The red head hadn't seen him since the day he wrote him that note. Deidara wrote that he wanted at least a day alone to adjust. The teen didn't object to Sasori's offer to be the midle man and find out if any of the others would hate him or not though. For that much he couldn't blame him.

But he doubted they would. After all, none of them were exactly perfect. For along time before he met Deidara, he often wished he could turn himself into an unfeeling, wooden work of art: a puppet.

Dismissing the the thought before it went any further, he knew this was not a time for him to wallow in thoughts of his own past.

"Hey, I know we're waiting on spiky and blue but where in the f*ck is blondie?" Hidan crossed his arms and shifted a little in his seating position from the floor, all while raising an annoyed eyebrow.

Sasori looked over at the silver haired teen. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he had forgotten that everyone save for Pein, Konan and Deidara were there. "He's not coming and I'll explain why _after_ Pein and Konan get here. I'm not relaying this twice." He didn't care how or if anyone else was annoyed by it but he _refused_ to repeat himself unless it was dire. Since Pein and Konan were coming anyway, he had no reason to re-tell. Besides, it wasn't his fault if they weren't listening in the first place.

"What's going on? I called his place about three times already and got nothing."

"Dammit! That was the worst thing you could have done!" Sasori glared at Hidan for a second before getting up to leave.

Without a word to the others, he hurried out of the room and grabbed his jacket by the door and left. Leaving the others to only wonder what was wrong before getting up to follow themselves.

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A few minutes later, he had arrived, running the whole way there. After practically banging on the door, he got worried and frustrated and in a rush, checked to see if he had the extra that Deidara had given him before he left for the summer.

For a brief moment of relief, he found it and unlocked the door. As soon as he went in, he saw that it was a little dark since all the lights were off.

He frowned and went to find the blond.

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The red head didn't have far to look to find him in the short hallway sitting down with his back against the wall and his knees were drawn up to his chest, he seemed to not notice his presence. Hwever, one thing that caught his attention was the fact the beside him was the teens phone shattered into many pieces and after narrowing his eyes to get a better look, he spied blood on the blonds hands.

"Dei!" He was over by the blond within the blink of an eye and his only response was a blank faced stare.

"What happened?" He asked while kneeling down in front of him but at the blue eyed males frown, he kicked himself mentally for that.

"I'm sorry." He said in a low voice.

The blond only shook his head sadly. It's not like he could tell him what happened and he thought he could take it better than _this_.

He had no idea how something like not answering the phone could be so hard. But one of the realization's it brought him was that he could no longer argue or physically talk to Sasori about art and even talking about the weird movies that he and Hidan liked as well as gloating on their pranks.

The more he thought about it the angrier he got and one thought led to another and after hearing his land phone ring, he couldn't take it anymore and smashed it and punched it with his bare hands, ignoring the blood and throbbing pain.

The only things he felt were raw anger and slow but overbearing sadness. But he couldn't cry, he wouldn't. '_I must look pathetic, un._' He thought while looking up to meet Sasori's gaze. He didn't want him to apologize for something that was no more than the slip of the tongue.

"Is everything alright?" They both looked to left to see the others coming in. It was Konan who asked and Sasori's quick best guess is that one of the others called her and Pein.

Sasori looked at Deidara again. "They don't know yet. I _was_ waiting on Pein and Konan to come over before I said anything. And then I found out that Hidan called and one thing led to another and now we're here."

Deidara nodded in understanding. It didn't make Sasori feel any better though.  
"What the f*ck's going on?"

Ignoring Hidan, Sasori looked at Deidara again. "I'll go tell them what happened while you get the blood off your hands." His response was a simple nod and they both stood up.

The blond headed into the bathroom that was just a couple of feet to his left and Sasori went to go get the task of explaining what had happened to the others who were just looking at them questioningly.

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While getting out his first aid kit from under the sink, he thought back to the other day when he had written Sasori the note. He was sure that the red head would not to be around him anymore.

_He had sat down on the couch in the livingroom expecting Sasori to leave. However he was surprised when felt the weight of an extra person sit down beside him and the next thing he knew was that he was the red haired males embrace and something about it made him feel a little bit better. He vague;y remembered hearing Sasori tell him that he wouldn't leave him over something like this._

The memory brought a small smile to his face as he tried to ignore the stinging of the warm water against his cuts and scratches while washing away the blood.

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Meanwhile everyone had since had a seat in the blonds livingroom wondering just what had happened. After taking in a breath Sasori began. "There's something I need to tell you..."

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Authors Note:  
Small timeskip next chapter and some humor since this while thing isn't meant to be purely drama.x_x.

Finished: 09/07/2009, 12:08am.


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